A Friend Loves At All Times

I had a reader ask me to post a question. She wanted to know when is the time in a friendship when you decide that you are putting more into the relationship than your friend is?

Have you ever had a relationship in which you feel as though you are always the one to call, always the one to text, always the one to email?

I am going to admit something here… I am not a very good friend. I am the friend that waits for others to call. (Don’t believe me just as my friend from Florida…) I want so badly to be liked that I hate the fear of rejection that comes with calling someone else to see if they want to do something. I am the friend that says, “let’s get together sometime!” And then, the next time I see you, a year later I say, “let’s get together sometime.”

This is something that I work on continuously… and something that I fear will never be fully completed in me. Although, I do have to say that I am getting better. I have had friends whom have stopped asking me to do things, and I don’t blame them.

The Bible tells us that a friend loves at all times. To many this means that we love in the good, the bad, the happy, and the sad. This means you love your friends when they can’t love themselves. But, does that love have a limit? And, maybe not just the love, but your willingness to always be the one putting out the effort.

I have really been thinking and praying about this for the last few weeks since my friend spoke to me about it, and I am just not sure how I feel. On one hand, if I am in her situation I don’t want to be the one always making the effort. However, on the other hand I know that for me, personally, I don’t want my friends to give up on me.

So, what do you think? When do you call it quits and let your friend do the reaching out, rather than always being the one to reach out?

3 Comments Add yours

  1. Moe says:

    I had a friend who I invested so much of myself emotionally, that I made myself physically sick. We lived awhile away from each other and spoke almost everyday. Eventually before I realized it our friendship became a burden and her problems started weighing me down. One summer she came to visit with her family and I was completely on edge and faked my way through most of the visit smiling when I really wanted to cry. It became the death of our friendship. I hugged her goodbye knowing that I would never see her again. Sometimes you give too much of yourself and you have nothing left to give and somewhere along the way something good becomes damaged and irrepairable. A friendship is a bond but it needs to be nurtured and cherished and sometimes you even have to decide if it's time to let it go. Love your friends and be kind but dont give so much of yourself that you lose yourself. Make sure you're receiving love and kindness back. Dont be afraid to try too. Friends can let you down sometimes but they can also pick you up and be there to cry with you. I now have friends who don't take more than I can give and they give me their love in return for mine. ❤


  2. Tonya Soum says:

    Oh boy…I remember having this conversation with you!I wouldn't say I wait for people to call me. I just don't like talking on the phone! I will call if I'm driving and can't text, but other than that, I'd rather text, google chat, Facebook msg, anything other than call. But that's not the point.I have friends that if I don't hear from them at least every other day, I wonder if they're mad at me. And I will wait until they contact me or once in a while I will ask if anything is wrong and find out they're just busy. AND I have friends that contact a bit too much out of the blue, then drift away until the next random contact. And I have a few that weigh me down with their problems that I cannot begin to grasp or comprehend. I wouldn't say that I make it a point to contact all of them regularly. And I have my "hermit" days, more often than not, and I'm not trying to ignore people at all. I'm just a content homebody and don't need to go here and there to be happy. Because of that, I'm considered an introvert, big time! And to the outside world, I am. I'm quiet and reserved. But to those I let in, that is not the case.I've also walked away from friendships out of anger or refusal to be a part of their "crowd". And when I was able to get over myself and the situation, I was able to reconnect, thankfully. Don't get me wrong, there's many that I've cut out of my life and it was for the best! As busy moms, it's hard to create and maintain wonderful friendships, so I prefer to keep a select few close to me, rather than a large group of friends. I'm picky like that. 😉


  3. Raggy Lady says:

    I am just the opposite of you! I am an extrovert big time…Sometimes us extroverts just need a little text or effort to let us know that we are important to you or if you just don't like hanging out. The worst thing you can do is ignore me….for some reason that pushes my rejection button and I start over thinking every conversation. I see that little phrase that says 'Don't let someone become ur priority,Wen u r just an option in their life' and think hmmm am I doing this…..


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