Conflicted Love

There is a video circulating on social media that has many up-in-arms. The video is of a woman who filmed her abortion. I wasn’t going to watch the video, but I did… mainly because I don’t want to form an opinion about something I don’t know about.

So, I watched it. I will state, first and foremost, that I will not state my personal views on abortion during this post, because I feel that it’s private… and complicated. With that being said, I want to address this video and the backlash coming from it.

In the video, the woman takes a very lighthearted approach to the procedure that is happening (nothing is shown but her face during the video). In her followup and her article, she makes light of the importance of this decision. Saying she simply wasn’t ready for children.

I have read a great number of comments on social media and other internet sources, and I am sad.

Friends, as women, as mothers, I am sad to hear people saying things like, “I hope she realizes the mistakes she is making with her life” or “God will punish her.” I’m sad.

I’ve never had an abortion. I have never been in a situation where I felt abortion is my only choice. I do, however, know a few individuals who have made this choice. I have spoken with these individuals before and after. I have seen their hearts hurting. Breaking. I have heard these people say, “I thought it was my only option.”

I have heard these people sob, saying, “God hates me” or, “no one can know. They would judge me” or, “who will possibly love me now?”

I have also heard these individuals say things like, “I am okay with this choice. It wasn’t easy, but I did it.”

I, every time, have hugged my friends. I have loved them. I have supported them. I have listened them.

I have never judged them.

We live in a world full of judgment. Judgment is not my job. It is my KOB to love people with the unconditional love that my Jesus shows me. It is my job to hug people, to tell them, “it’s okay. I love you.”

The girl in this video showed signs of distress, to me. I could see where her smile was hiding something else. I could also see a strong woman who made a choice for herself, and she needed love.

I don’t wish to start controversy with this post… however, I am sure it will start anyway. I simply wish to ask you to stop. To think. To empathize. To put yourself in this person’s shoes for one single moment. To imagine that you are someone who is forced to make choices like this. To imagine yourself at an all time low, and imagine your thoughts when no one stands beside you to say, “I love you. It’s okay.”

To my readers, if you are dealing with abortion or the aftermath of an abortion, please know there is someone for you to talk to… if you need it. If you are struggling with feeling whole after an abortion, please hear this, “It’s okay. I love you.”

My hope is that you can love someone through a difficult time. That you can empathize with someone else, and love not judge.

And that most importantly, it’s not always necessary to tell someone if you agree or disagree with their choices. Sometimes it is better to lock that inside, and instead love them. Love them with a love that never stops, and never fails.



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