I have sat for the last few weeks, pondering what to write. It seems that I have a lot of thoughts rambling around in my head, but nothing of any real substance that I could put into words. Until Sunday, that was.
The last few months have been rough for me. It seems the tides are changing in my life, and I am in a very unstable place. People close to me know all that has happened in my life in the last few months to cause so much stress, but those outside of my immediate circle (really just my best-friend and my husband) don’t have any idea what is happening inside of this heart and head of mine. I have been desperately searching for a place of solace, but have been unable to find anything to really feed my soul. Until Sunday, that is.
Sunday, in the eye of the storm, my best-friend and I headed out to a concert 3 hours from home. The MonumenTour… featuring New Politics, Paramore, and Fall Out Boy (sigh…. Pete Wentz… swoon….). The last couple concerts we have been to have been softer, more peaceful and relaxing (John Mayer and Jason Mraz). This concert was anything but. This was a concert full of life, full of angst, full of… release.
At some point in the concert, I found myself lost in a Fall Out Boy song, eyes closed, fist to the air, jumping for all my worth… running on endorphin’s, and the ambiance of my beautiful Pete Wentz… sigh… swoon… I digress. My heart was crying out. With every jump, every rock fist thrown, every scream of every word, my heart was pouring out the hurt and pain, the stress and anger of the last 7 months.
At one point in the show Fall Out Boy sang their song Save Rock and Roll. I opened my eyes during this song and looked around… people around me were just as lost in the music as I was. It was amazing. And then it hit me… these are my people. The concert crowd. The people who love music enough to leave their normal routine and join the masses for one night.
My family has a musical background… my grandmother was a professional country singer when my mom was a child, and my brother and I were both musical in school. My husband is a drummer (I wish he would play more, but that’s another topic for another time). My kids can both sing and pick/play instruments. My dad’s family is musical, as well. Music is in my blood. It is what forms the inner stitching’s of my gypsy soul. It speaks to me.
I am an auditory person. I learn best by listening. I am deeply effected by sounds. Music can, in an instant, change my mood. Hearing a great speech in a movie or on a stage will carry me away into a sea of emotion. Music is my drug. It really is. When I am depressed – music. When I am happy – music.
I came home from that concert with my soul fed. It sounds odd to say, “I went to a punk rock concert and walked away so relaxed and rejuvenated.” However, it’s true. That concert was just what I have been searching for over the last few months. Pete Wentz was just what I have been looking for over the last few months…. sigh… swoon…. again, I digress.
So, as I sign off today, I am turning on my Pandora stations, and I am going to clean my house (another stress release for me), and get lost in the sounds that speak to my soul… waiting, impatiently, for my next chance at a concert.
What do you do to relax when you are stressed out?