I’m going to try to make this shorter than usual, because I still have a yoga workout to do and this is literally the first time I’ve sat down since lunch. My favorite Summer memories all involve my mother. I think they mean so much to me, because I don’t have her with me anymore.
Canada was my favorite place, because it was her favorite. It always felt like a second home to me with her there. She came alive there because that was where half of her heart stayed.
Summer always meant trips to P.E.I to visit mom’s family. Walking the clay-red beaches there should be a rite of passage. And the shooting stars, well let’s just say there is no limit to the amount of wishes you can make on a cliffside in Canada, in the Summertime. Time doesn’t exist until it’s the last day. You get up and you eat and then play, then explore the island, then eat some more. And when I went we would sing together, loud and crazy family songs and slow and somber country songs, and it was sheer bliss to be alive.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve thought about those trips, and what I wouldn’t give to have one more Summer with my mom. She was the Summer. She was silly and played with me and kicked me out of my bed and out of the house. I was tan until November because my mom didn’t let me stay idle.
As a little kid, you don’t realize it. You just love your mom so much and she’s your best friend. And when you become a teen, you trade your mom for new, “cooler” best friends. As a mom of three girls, all I have to share with them is memories of her and her love now. If there’s one thing I regret, it’s not realizing in time that she was always my very best friend.
She taught me how to love and how to give. It is still by far the greatest lesson I have ever learned, and it’s all because of her. Now that I’m a mom, Summers have changed a little. Now I’m the one taking my girls places and being silly with them.
Mother’s day is this weekend, and the ache from missing her is still there like always. I’ll wake up on Sunday to all the noises of my hubby and girls “quietly” trying to make me breakfast, and like every year, I’ll be a little sad that I can’t pick up the phone and call her. I’ll want to say I love you once more, and to thank her from the bottom of my heart for all of it, all the stuff I never knew, never even suspected that she did for me.
Summer will be here soon and I’ll smile and be silly just like she taught me. And I’ll laugh and play with my girls, just like she laughed and played with me. But most of all I’m going to love like hell, so that everything she gave me and the time she gave up for me, was worth it, because it was…it was so, so worth it.