Any story sounds true until someone tells the other side and sets the record straight. – Proverbs 18:17 TLB
So many times in life we are faced with situations in which one person pours out their “truth” and we are forced to decipher from that what is reality. So many times their “truth” is so believable that we, as outsiders, have to really struggle to grab those pieces of reality.
My mom said something to me in high school that I will never forget. She said, “every situation has 2 people to tell their truth, and somewhere in between those two stories is the reality of what actually happened.” I have held onto this statement since that point is my way of remaining neutral in most situations.
This statement helped me through my training as a parent aide for social services, my training as a parent educator for Parents As Teachers, and my work towards a bachelor’s degree in Psychology.
At some point though, in most situations, you will be forced to choose a side… no matter how much you desire to remain neutral, you will be forced to choose. You will have to look at both sides of the story, and decide which truth you will accept as reality (or as mostly reality).
The thing about most people, is that they are very good at making their truth sound convincing. Even in my own life, when I am feeling passionate about something or I am feeling hurt, I want people to see and believe my side. I have worked very hard in my life to try to see both sides of a situation; and I surround myself with people who are willing and able to pull me from my pit of self-loathing and force me to see both sides. That’s what friends do.
I don’t want people around me who blindly listen to my side and believe me with no questions asked… and I refuse to be that kind of friend. So hear me when I say, if I have chosen a side in a fight, it is because I have looked at every side of the situation and I have hard evidence to support my choice.
Also know this, I love fiercely and with abandon. So, if you are in my life, I will love you hard and without strings… until you show me a reason to stop loving you. I will also feed you truth. I will not allow you to be a self-loathing turd… I will make you see your own doing in any situation, because that’s what love is.
Love IS NOT avoiding the gray spaces. LOVE LIVES IN THE GRAY SPACES.