Passive-Aggressive Polly

I am typically a pretty strong personality, if I am feeling something you know it. I am also a very open book type of person… if I think something I will tell you. However, I have been known to post a passive-aggressive social media status every-so-often, just to drive my point home when I’m really upset.

I have this tormented love-hate relationship with social media. I love that I am able to connect with friends and family from outside of my small bubble of a town. Otherwise, communication with these people would be nil – because I am not a phone person. As much as I love that aspect, I HATE, and I mean HATE, the drama that comes with it. Hurt feelings because of hurtful or misunderstood words, political and religious battle lines being drawn, and the ability to hide behind a screen and say anything you want with no regard for other’s feelings – all of which I have been guilty of.

Recently, I learned the negative impact of social media in a very real and raw way. My business was put on display for many to see (something I was okay with) and, not surprisingly, many people were not happy with the results. I think it’s because it ruined their picture perfect idea of who I am. It made me someone who wasn’t fitting into a mold of who people think I should be. I stood by a friend, I supported a friend. I made a choice.

As a result, words were said, friendships were ended, and I no longer have a church home. All things that I am okay with… it was my decision and I am comfortable with it. That being said, it doesn’t hurt any less just because it was my choice.

In the days (two weeks) since it happened, there have been numerous social media statuses that were passive-aggressively directed at me. Not only did it anger me, it hurt me. It hurt me to my core. To see someone I considered a friend (and pastor) reduced to posting statuses to social media that were directed to (or about) me and this situation, cut me to the core.

It’s not about being told I am wrong or having someone tell me they are disappointed in my actions. It’s about “friends” thinking it is okay to discuss me and/or my actions behind my back or on social media rather than to my face. It’s about flawed people thinking they have the right to tell me where my actions do not line up with their idea of morality. It’s about “friends” judging my actions without actually being present to see them.

I have had my heart broken before, but I have to say this recent bout has hurt a little more than past heart breaks, and has made me question the loyalty and support of everyone in my life. It has also made me stop and think about why I am such a closed off and un-trusting person.

How do you deal with hurt feelings and/or feeling betrayed by friends and loved ones?

Aleah

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