Occasionally, I have a nightmare. Tonight was one of those nights. The last thing I remember from the nightmare was yelling, “Is anyone there?”
I knew it had to be a dream because friends, I would NOT yell that in real life.
I wake up in a panic, with that hot dread that someone might be in the house. Only problem is, I’m facing away from my doorway. I’m going to have to roll over to check. Eep.
Here are my thoughts: Just check. No big deal. Noone’s there. But what if they are? What if the dream was like a warning? Maybe I just have to pee. Yeah, that’s it. But what if someone is there? I’d have heard something by now. They think we’re all sleeping. They’ll make a noise. What if he’s just staring at us? Like, right behind us… Eww, stop! That’s creepy! Now I’m freaked out. I can’t turn over. I can’t look. He’s there I know it! Ugh! Just look already!!!
If you‘ve ever seen the movie Inside Out, it went a lot like that in my head. I finally turn over to look. Nothing. I get up and go pee.
I get back in bed and now I’m grumpy, because I know I’ll never be able to fall back asleep. I start to drift off.
What the hell?!! Is that an owl?!! I feel that I should pause here to mention that I’ve heard exactly one owl in my entire life up to this point. I knew I should have shut the window! No way! It’s like the Seventh circle of Hell when it’s shut!! But now we’ve got owls! Are you sure there are owls in Virginia? Of course there are owls in Virginia, idiot! Oh shutup, you don’t know that! Whatever! Wait, what if it’s one of those annoying doves and not an owl?! It’s an owl! It’s hooting, not cooing! Don’t doves make a different sound that’s like an owl though? I can’t remember. I just remember that one that used to coo early on the weekends. Oh yeeeeah! That jerk! Let’s check and see. No way! What if he’s like right there? I kid you not, I whispered this next part in my head. What if he’s like right there, looking in the window waiting for me? Had I been more clever, I would have made some snarky comment to myself about this not being the movie Labyrinth. There is not a sentient, killer owl sitting on the window ledge! You don’t know, he could be right there on the closest tree. Let’s just check.
I get up…again. I look out my window and scan the tree in our backyard and even the deck. No owl. And now he’s stopped hooting, so I can’t actually confirm if he’s still there or not, or that he’s not just silently resting out there on some branch, lying in wait to kill me.
I get my phone out and do a quick search about doves and owls. I listen to the dove call and rule it out, because it didn’t sound like that. Told ya it was an owl and not a dove! Yeah, well you also said the owl might be right there staring at us through the window. I look up owl calls. Let me tell you, nothing is more disturbing than a hissy, screechy owl call in a silent room. Especially when you know that’s not the owl you heard. Finally, 20 minutes later, I find the owl I’m looking for. How unsatisfying. FYI, it was a Great Horned Owl.
It is now 2:17. I originally woke up around 12:45. I hate nightmares…and owls.